Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout.
Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.Since the 1967 US Supreme Court decision that fully legalised interracial marriage in all the states, this practice has not witnessed as much of such cases as since 2000, according to statistics.In 1970, revealed a Stanford University study, there were only 65,000 marriages involving African-Americans and whites. Among all interracial couples, they represented two percent of marriages in 1970.The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on, and that opinion comes with an entire set of stereotypes, fueled by racist ideology, a complicated past, and sometimes even pop culture.Kanye West once rapped about how successful black men will "leave your ass for a white girl," and then put himself into that box by marrying a white woman, furthering the pervasiveness of flawed, generic ideas about interracial relationships.White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven.These are generalizations, of course, but they are attitudes that I've personally encountered.But when I discussed my issue with friends, other queer men of color, they all said I have a type: white men.I tried to deny it, but when I thought about my dating history, I realized that my friends were right.My childhood in the Black church led me to believe that Black people were inherently homophobic — a myth — and that the only Black men who were gay were on the down low or infected with HIV — also a myth.Within my own family, I had two gay uncles who died of AIDS-related illnesses before I was 10.