Either way, someone at some point deeply hurt you and betrayed your trust.
It’s only natural that you would hesitate to trust people or allow them to get close to you for fear of another betrayal, another loss.
I found myself unwilling to tell the first guy I dated after my abusive relationship about the abuse at all, for fear that he would judge me for it and see me differently.
He had never experienced abuse firsthand, which only increased my reservedness.
Women who have been with destructive men often rush into new relationships before they have had time to process what happened, and before they understand what to do differently.
Some assume the last guy was just a bad pick-or that he changed, but the one thing that hasn’t changed, and won’t ever change, are your traits, and it is your traits that will get you trapped again unless you are aware of how they function, and work them to your advantage.
But let’s say you’ve entered another relationship and things are going great. You feel relieved to discover that the abusive personality of your ex had nothing to do with your taste in partners. Maybe the abuse didn’t start with your ex – it may have begun in your childhood.Although the vast majority of victims are female, some are male, too.But whichever sex, the trauma can be the same, and very intense and damaging.If you return to the dating scene after you’ve been with a destructive man and think you don’t need to plan, then I guarantee that you will end up picking your default dude, or should I say, your default dud.If you are not being intentional in picking your new mate, that is exactly what you will get, a dud, and quite possibly, another destructive one.The inclination can be to put off dating, and that's a good move for a while.Eventually, though, you'll probably want to dip a toe in the water again.Lynn anticipated the pain that would come at any moment.She was on guard for the humiliation..lack of control..hateful ways.Why would you want to open your heart again and risk being hurt?You fear betrayal and therefore find it difficult to trust this person.