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I first heard about Tinder, the app known as Grindr for straight people, from a friend several months ago.I joined partly out of curiosity, and partly in hopes I'd easily meet a summer (or, let's be realistic — one-night) fling.At the end of a lengthy massage on a sun-drenched afternoon in California, my honey-voiced therapist handed me a card that read “Good for One Free Hug.” At first I thought she was offering me a post-massage embrace, but then I understood. I paid for that privilege, but here was an invitation to something else. I do not come easily to spontaneity, much less surrender, but here I was purring like a cat after being so kindly and effectively caressed. As a long term resident of the northern Midwest, I appreciated not only the warmth of the day, but also the opportunity to take off my clothes and surrender my body to the ministrations of another.And now, Tinder seems less like a hook-up app than the de facto tool for virtually vetting potential life partners (worry about your awkward "how we met" story later).

Many sites say that they are “free” but then you need to pay to do anything substantial that would actually lead to a date.

So if you're new to Tinder — or just having a hard time finding the man of your dreams there — try avoiding habits on my patented list of "Tinder don'ts." Stay away from the below, and you'll have lots of potential Mr. Everyone makes fun of selfies yet so many women still post them.

Rights swiping right (what you do when you like someone on Tinder) all over you. Selfies suggest that you have no friends to take your picture and/or are self-involved enough to catalog self-portraits on your phone.

As educators and public health workers scratch their heads trying to come up with solutions to these two problems, it becomes clear that we need to first look for the cause: Is there something about being young that makes people indiscriminate in their selections of beverages and bedroom activities?

Or might there be a more complicated psychological explanation behind the co-occurrence of drinking and sex?


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