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Questions to ask a man before dating him

Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.

Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says.

Rationale: Does s/he have any big plans for dramatic life changes you don’t know about? Rationale: Is the person excessively dependent, needy, or incompetent, or does s/he perceive themselves that way? Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Note: Of course there are other important dating questions related to finances, children etc but I wanted to make a list of psychology-related dating questions.

Rationale: Does s/he have grit (which is important for success)? Is s/he going to be good at repairing your bond after you’ve had an argument? Do you know when you’re feeling hurt, lonely, sad, ashamed/embarrassed etc?

You could each write down questions on scraps of paper--serious and fun so the mood doesn't get too heavy - and throw them into jars (yours in one, his in another).

Take turns fishing out questions and answering them.

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