Pretty soon, you find yourself glowing every time you spend time with this person. This is especially true of women who produce higher levels of oxytocin -- the bonding hormone that enhances the feeling of having found your "soul mate" connection. Any contact with the person becomes as potent as a drug addiction. You become friends with the sexy co-worker and decide to carpool to work together. You're married, or engaged, or you're in a committed relationship. All those tingly feelings and the fantasies that perhaps a "perfect love" can really exist isn't destiny knocking -- they're caused by "love chemicals" in your brain.You become "friends" with an ex on Facebook and reminisce about the past. You spend hours thinking about them and your heart races whenever you see a text from them. You tell yourself it's ok because you're not really cheating, you're just chatting. Biochemical research has shown that the effect of these love chemicals is twofold: they are released in response to your friend, and they bond you to him or her.“With the Internet, we’re moving away from just physical ideas about infidelity and acknowledging emotional infidelity.” While there is no universally accepted definition, an Internet affair frequently involves intimate chat sessions and sexually stimulating conversation or cybersex, which may include filming mutual masturbation with a Web camera.Several studies suggest that even when there is no in-person contact, online affairs can be just as devastating as the real-world variety, triggering feelings of insecurity, anger and jealousy.
Before you are tempted to do something risky -- like leave your stable, good relationship for your exciting emotional lover -- it's important to examine what's really going on. There's a huge difference between a platonic friendship and a friendship that has crossed the line into the emotional sex danger zone.
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Friendship becomes emotional sex when the feel-good brain chemicals and hormones that are released when even thinking about that person take over.
But you are having emotional sex, and that can be even more intense, sensual and all-consuming than physical sex. Emotional sex is a friendship that escalates into something that feels the same as romantic love and can manifest itself in numerous ways -- physically, romantically, emotionally, lustfully, verbally, or virtually.